Jokes Jokes 9

Pest Control



A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company.. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.



'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.



The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet..



'Who are you?' he asked him..



'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.



'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.



'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.



'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.



The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards!'.

A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While on route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair, and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed. Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and the cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I gave you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Pittsburgh Steelers tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays for the monthly dues!" Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cabby and said, "What would you do?" The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches a cold."

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.



Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.



"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"



"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?



So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'



"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way,

what's in the other bag?"



"Not everybody pays.

Regards

retribution

Regards

retribution